The Truth is Out There
August 6, 2004An East Coast Ivy League atheist professor was teaching a university class and he told the class that he was going to prove that there is no God.
He said, “God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you 15 minutes!”
Ten minutes went by all the time taunting God, “Here I am, God. I’m still waiting.”
As the last minute approached he smugly smiled.
A young US. Marine, just released from active duty and newly registered in the class, walked up to the professor, hit him full force on the chin sending him flying from his platform and crashing to the floor.
The professor struggled up, badly shaken and yelled, “What’s the matter with you? Why did you do that?”
The Marine replied, “God was busy. He sent The Marines.”
And for the record, I wasn’t even a Marine, but this is still too good not to post. I also know that this is an old joke, but I like this specific twist on it.
Quantas. Quantas never crashes. Neither does K-Mart.
Dammit that was supposed to go on your Idiot or Boring post.
Yeah, but it’s even funnier this way!
I was recently bitch-slapped for not posting so here’s my post.
I’m tempted to go postal on this but Legion would hunt me down and force me to listen to Ted Nugent’s radio show so I won’t.
Suffice to say that anyone who uses the phrase “East Coast Ivy league atheist professor” is exactly the type who would never be allowed in an Ivy League school because of critical brain damage. (For the record, the only professor of mine at MY East Coast Ivy League grad school who ever professed his religious preferences in class was an apostate Jew-turned ardent Catholic named Richard Gilman who–by the way–had been a Captain in the MARINES in WWII [ironically, my likely agnostic and brilliant mentor Leon Katz had been a Captain in the Army in WWII as well, but that was before the Jews were allowed to go to Ivy League schools so they had to join the service])!
Saying “East Coast Ivy league” is hot-button pushing propaganda designed solely to stir the masses up from Survivor and get them to participate in the Two-Minute Hate. Attention all Ships at Sea! ALL Ivy League Schools are on the East Coast. That’s where they all are because many of them were established BEFORE there was an America, much less an East Coast, much much less a West Coast!! Strangely, I never see rants like this aimed at “Midwestern Big Ten atheist professors” (I’m sure if you looked hard enough you might find one at Ohio State or MSU). Funny, you’d never guess from people who pump out these kinds of Goebbels-manque posturings that Yale, Harvard and Princeton all started as bible colleges, or that the Ivy League schools were bastions of conservatism (and still are if you stop long enough to look at the entrenched old monied interests which still dominate them).
To the day I was accepted at my own East Coast Ivy League school my late mother kept–as a bizarre record of her own humiliation at the hands of Ivy League atheists I assume–the rejection note she recieved from a certain Ivy League school telling her that they could not admit her despite her excellent academic record because their Jewish quota was filled for the year. I’ve seen the letter. I helped her burn it as a long-delayed revenge against the people who had hurt her.
Oops I did go postal. Well, I hope it’s a nice funeral. Wait, is that “Cat Scratch Fever” I hear in the background???
See, MC, I told you he always talks like that.
My brain just melted.