Crunchy Bits

February 5, 2004

Not finished yet with the long article promised. Keep watching.

Had an interesting conversation with Mindcrime the other day. Turns out we uncovered what the source of his…uh…intestinal problems have been of late.

Mindcrime: Dude, I seriously don’t know, I groan and push and, well, man, it just doesn’t…

Legion: Whoa! Yeah, stop right there, I get the picture. We know you don’t exercise, it’s hard to move that much mass, I agree, but maybe there’s other things.

Mindcrime: Ya think?

Legion: Ya, I do. So what do you eat?

Mindcrime: What do I eat? What the $&## does that have to do with anything?

Legion: …

Mindcrime: Oh, yeah, right. Okay, well, I mostly drink Chinese coffee and I love tofu-on-a-stick?

Legion: Tofu-on-a-stick??? Oh for crying out loud, that can’t be good for you?

Mindcrime: Dude, tofu is supposed to be like the perfect suppository.

Legion: Really? Well, that’s nice, but do you eat vegetables?

Mindcrime: Vegetables? Are you kidding, that’s what food eats!

Legion (sigh): Okay, well, heck I don’t know. Anyway, what is tofu-on-a-stick?

Mindcrime: It’s sort of like a corndog but it’s tofu.

Legion: And you just pitch the stick when you’re done?

Mindcrime: Pitch the stick? What do you mean?

Legion: You throw it away?

Mindcrime: Hell no, that’s the best part, it soaks up all the grease and stuff, it’s awesome?

Legion: You EAT the stick?????

Mindcrime: Yeah, why?

Legion: …

So, folks, there you have it, the mystery is solved.