Time is Not on My Side
Posted on February 28, 2005 | Filed Under Depth Charges
Another week gone by. You know those automatic counters that they have for telethons and the powerball winner and the national deficit where you get to watch the tally as it rises or falls? I keep thinking I should have one of those for my weekly sleep debt. It would read something like this:
Approximate Weekly Sleep Requirement: 60 hours
Actual Weekly Sleep Attained: 24 hours
Blah.
Saw an article this morning. I found this particular paragraph very interesting:
Liberals might one day conclude that while most Americans value autonomy, they do not want a procedural republic in which patriotism, religion, socialization, and traditional values are politically declared out of bounds. Many Americans notice that liberalism nowadays lacks a vocabulary of right and wrong, declines to discuss virtue except in snickering terms, and seems increasingly hostile to prevailing moral sentiments.
Of course if you liberals sleep better than either the conservatives or those of us who claim to be conservative independents, maybe I’ll jump ship.
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Irony
Posted on February 24, 2005 | Filed Under Depth Charges
This just in. Saw this on a news site that shall remain nameless.
Tholin, NC (AP) – After a rash of anger crimes spreading across the whole of Shelding County, police have finally managed to capture the perpetrator of the infamous Deprivation Murders.
Sgt. Jack Barrister said, “We were tipped off by the local YMCA when they called 911. Apparently a man in the third lane of the swimming pool fell asleep during his daily exercise and would have drowned had it not been for the quick thinking of local life guard Ron Carter.”
Upon investigation at suspicious comments made by the drowning man as he was regaining consciousness, police were able to link the individual (whose identity has not yet be released to the public) to the Deprivation Murders.
“We got lucky,” another office, Cpl. Deegan Muerte said, “this guy hadn’t slept in months, and his crimes were so random because there was no real motive behind it. He just couldn’t contain his patience and temper anymore and would snap. But it had been so long since he slept he fell asleep working out and we were able to nab him.”
The alleged perpetrator is safely behind bars now. In a phone interview with the press, in which his identity was masked through voice disguise, the accused said, “Yeah, I finally just reached a point where I had no energy left to get angry from not sleeping. It just didn’t do it anymore. I decided to go back to doing what I’d been doing before all of this happened and just live with whatever happened. My luck I fell asleep.”
No trial date has yet been established, bond was set at $1.
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For Sanity’s Sake
Posted on February 23, 2005 | Filed Under Depth Charges, Giggles and Grins
Just because it is now 1:30 in the morning and I again am not asleep. I did this for frigs and giggles. Sue me. I got nother better to do. By the way, this was pilfered from a Wizard who inturn pilfered it from a Paladin.
My Inner Hero – Warrior!
I’m courageous, straightforward, and charismatic. I’m a born leader, but I’m also not afraid to face danger on my own. Nothing stands between me and victory… nothing that lives to tell the tale, anyway. If you need someone to charge into battle for you, call on me.
How about you? Click here to find your own inner hero.
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